Shoulding all over each other

I don't know how full of shit I am.  I do know that I am full of it though.  Life has been a strange journey.  I have come to the conclusion that I truly know nothing and only carry beliefs, which can then be invalidated by new experiences.  So I have come to understand that I am always full of shit but continue to communicate my beliefs with the asterisk of, “based on my limitations of perspective in time and space, I believe X.”

It seems we only have about 85 years on Earth on average and how we spend those years varies tremendously.  How do you find direction and meaning and how do you choose what you spend your time doing?  Most of us seem to be subject to the whims of the world around us and we seem to follow the lead of others. thus our lives lack an authenticity and uniqueness.  We are shaped by our generation, our parents, our friends, our schools and now our social media world.  How often do we stop and reflect on who we are and what we deeply want to spend our time pursuing?

On top of that most of us walk around “shoulding” all over other people.  We look to others to guide us as if they have the answers without us even pondering if we are asking the right question.  Think back over the last 24 hours.  How many times have different people told what you should have done or what you should do without asking the proper qualifying questions to understand all the facets of the situation and to truly understand you?  I look at the state of the world and how most of us spend our days toiling at things that don't fuel our soul.  We choose these things because we don't know what else to choose or because someone leads us there with their shoulds.

What could you do if you stopped shoulding on yourself.  You know, “I should work out, I shouldn’t go there, I should be nicer, I should read more”, etc…. First we must admit we are clueless and so is everyone around us.  The best we have is the truth of unknowingness.  Beginning in the mystery of the unknown and wondering what may be true for only us can be terrifying but it also opens the door for infinite possibility and for the depth of our existence to start whispering directions of encouragement that sound more like could and less like should.

To should is to sin.  Every-time a should is uttered, an angel loses his lips.  When we should on ourselves and others, we create more guilt and shame.  We bury joy and love with the weight of being more and better and different than what is.  I have found it heavy to feel the weight of suffering in peoples souls.  Their perspective on their past and their present covered up with the trappings of everyone else’s shoulds almost guarantees that their coulds will never see the light of the sun.